Forgiving all men, includes forgiving ourselves
"When the Lord requires that we forgive all men, that includes forgiving ourselves. Sometimes, of all the people in the world, the one who is the hardest to forgive—as well as perhaps the one who is most in need of our forgiveness—is the person looking back at us in the mirror."
Pres. Dieter F. Uchtdorf "The Merciful Obtain Mercy", April 2012 General Conference
Heaven is filled with...
"Remember, heaven is filled with those who have this in common: They are forgiven. And they forgive."
Pres. Dieter F. Uchtdorf "The Merciful Obtain Mercy," Ensign, May 2012, 77
Complete Forgiveness
“If you have repented from serious transgression and mistakenly believe that you will always be a second-class citizen in the kingdom of God, learn that is not true. The Savior said: ‘Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more. ‘By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins–behold, he will confess them and forsake them.’Find encouragement in the lives of Alma the Younger and the sons of Mosiah. They were tragically wicked. Yet their full repentance and service qualified them to be considered as noble as righteous Captain Moroni. To you who have sincerely repented yet continue to feel the burden of guilt, realize that to continue to suffer for sins when there has been proper repentance and forgiveness of the Lord is prompted by the master of deceit. Lucifer will encourage you to continue to relive the details of past mistakes, knowing that such thoughts can hamper your progress. Thus he attempts to tie strings to the mind and body so that he can manipulate you like a puppet to discourage personal achievement.”
Elder Richard G. Scott, "The Path to Peace and Joy," October 2000 General Conference
Part of loving one another, is forgiving them
"As part of loving one another, Jesus taught that when we are wronged by persons, we should forgive them. While many struggle with this difficult commandment, we all know of inspiring examples of Latter-day Saints who have given loving forgiveness, even for the most serious wrongs. For example, Chris Williams drew upon his faith in Jesus Christ to forgive the drunken driver who caused the death of his wife and two of their children. Only two days after the tragedy and still deeply distraught, this forgiving man, then serving as one of our bishops, said, “As a disciple of Christ, I had no other choice.”
Elder Dallin H. Oaks, "Followers of Christ" April 2013 General Conference
Forgiveness heals, blame keeps wounds open
“The spirit must be freed from tethers so strong and feelings never put to rest, so that the lift of life may give buoyancy to the soul. In many families, there are hurt feelings and a reluctance to forgive. It doesn’t really matter what the issue was. It cannot and should not be left to injure. Blame keeps wounds open. Only forgiveness heals. George Herbert, an early 17th-century poet, wrote these lines: ‘He that cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass if he would ever reach heaven, for everyone has need of forgiveness.’”
President Thomas S. Monson, Hidden Wedges, Ensign, May. 2002
Don't take offense too easily
“Sometimes we can take offense so easily. On other occasions we are too stubborn to accept a sincere apology. Who will subordinate ego, pride, and hurt—then step forward with ‘I am truly sorry! Let’s be as we once were: friends. Let’s not pass to future generations the grievances, the anger of our time’? Let’s remove any hidden wedges that can do nothing but destroy.”
President Thomas S. Monson, “The Peril of Hidden Wedges,” Ensign, July 2007, 8
Forgiveness heals, blame keeps wounds open
“The spirit must be freed from tethers so strong and feelings never put to rest, so that the lift of life may give buoyancy to the soul. In many families, there are hurt feelings and a reluctance to forgive. It doesn’t really matter what the issue was. It cannot and should not be left to injure. Blame keeps wounds open. Only forgiveness heals. George Herbert, an early 17th-century poet, wrote these lines: ‘He that cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass if he would ever reach heaven, for everyone has need of forgiveness.’”
President Thomas S. Monson, Hidden Wedges, Ensign, May. 2002
Don't take offense too easily
“Sometimes we can take offense so easily. On other occasions we are too stubborn to accept a sincere apology. Who will subordinate ego, pride, and hurt—then step forward with ‘I am truly sorry! Let’s be as we once were: friends. Let’s not pass to future generations the grievances, the anger of our time’? Let’s remove any hidden wedges that can do nothing but destroy.”
President Thomas S. Monson, “The Peril of Hidden Wedges,” Ensign, July 2007, 8
Don't hold grudges or assign reasons to others actions
"There is an old Welsh story from the 13th century about a prince who returned home to find his dog with blood dripping down its face. The man rushed inside and, to his horror, saw that his baby boy was missing and his cradle overturned. In anger the prince pulled out his sword and killed his dog. Shortly thereafter, he heard the cry of his son—the babe was alive! By the infant’s side lay a dead wolf. The dog had, in reality, defended the prince’s baby from a murderous wolf.
Though this story is dramatic, it demonstrates a point. It opens the possibility that the story we tell ourselves about why others behave a certain way does not always agree with the facts—sometimes we don’t even want to know the facts. We would rather feel self-justified in our anger by holding onto our bitterness and resentment. Sometimes these grudges can last months or years. Sometimes they can last a lifetime."
President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "One Key to a Happy Family" First Presidency Message, October 2012
Atonement is the supreme act of forgiveness
"One father could not forgive his son for departing from the path he had been taught. The boy had friends the father did not approve of, and he did many things contrary to what his father thought he should do. This caused a rift between father and son, and as soon as the boy could, he left home and never returned. They rarely spoke again.
Did the father feel justified? Perhaps.
Did the son feel justified? Perhaps.
All I know is that this family was divided and unhappy because neither father nor son could forgive each other. They could not look past the bitter memories they had about each other. They filled their hearts with anger instead of love and forgiveness. Each robbed himself of the opportunity to influence the other’s life for good. The divide between them appeared so deep and so wide that each became a spiritual prisoner on his own emotional island.
Fortunately, our loving and wise Eternal Father in Heaven has provided the means to overcome this prideful gap. The great and infinite Atonement is the supreme act of forgiveness and reconciliation. Its magnitude is beyond my understanding, but I testify with all my heart and soul of its reality and ultimate power. The Savior offered Himself as ransom for our sins. Through Him we gain forgiveness."
President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "One Key to a Happy Family" First Presidency Message, October 2012
Forgiving in families, of each other, and ourselves
"May God help us to be a little more forgiving in our families, more forgiving of each other, and perhaps more forgiving even with ourselves. I pray that we may experience forgiveness as one wonderful way in which most happy families are alike."
President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "One Key to a Happy Family" First Presidency Message, October 2012
There is no happiness in "getting even"
There is no happiness in "getting even"
"Guy de Maupassant, the French writer, tells the story of a peasant named Hauchecome who came on market day to the village. While walking through the public square, his eye caught sight of a piece of string lying on the cobblestones. He picked it up and put it in his pocket. His actions were observed by the village harness maker with whom he had previously had a dispute.
"Later in the day the loss of a purse as reported. Hauchecome was arrested on the accusation of the harness maker. He was taken before the mayor, to whom he protested his innocence, showing the piece of string that he had picked up. But he was not believed and was laughed at.
"The next day the purse was found, and Hauchecome was absolved of any wrongdoing. But, resentful of the indignity he had suffered because of a false accusation, he became embittered and would not let the matter die. Unwilling to forgive and forget, he thought and talked of little else. He neglected his farm. Everywhere he went, everyone he met had to be told of the injustice. By day and by night he brooded over it. Obsessed with his grievance, he became desperately ill and died. In the delirium of his death struggles, he repeatedly murmured, “A piece of string, a piece of string.” (The Works of Guy de
Maupassant, Black’s Reader Service: Roslyn, New York, pp. 34–38.)
"With variations of characters and circumstances that story could be repeated many times over in our own day. How difficult it is for any of us to forgive those who have injured us. We are all prone to brood on the evil done us. That brooding becomes as a gnawing and destructive canker. Is there a virtue more in need of application in our time than the virtue of forgiving and forgetting? There are those who would look upon this as a sign of weakness. Is it? I submit that it takes neither strength nor intelligence to brood in anger over wrongs suffered, to go through life with a spirit of vindictiveness, to dissipate one’s abilities in planning retribution. There is no peace in the nursing of a grudge. There is no happiness in living for the day when you can “get even.”
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